#285: Your skin

People, skin is the largest organ in our bodies and unlike those brown, slippery things stuffed underneath your rib cage, it actually has to look good doing the job. It’s bigger than the next four — your liver, large intestine, small intestine, and brain — and covers you from top to bottom to get everything done, day after day, month after month, year after year.   Thanks for being there, skin.  (Source here)

Yeah, not if your face looks like pepperoni pizza and it’s the day of your high school prom.  But don’t worry, your cousin is still going with you.  Loser.


Look, some of us came from very religious families and the only way we were allow to go to prom was if we went with our older, unemployeed cousin who lives in Yaya’s basement who told us that we had to let him touch our swimsuit places or he’d tell Yaya that I did whip-its in the parking lot right before they played “Closing Time.”

God, why can’t you mind your own fucking business.  You’re dumb and skin is….STILL AWESOME!

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